Random Nuggets of Stupid

Hmm, America is getting fat?? NO WAY! New problem: Kids are now becoming too fat for their car seats. Apparently most 3 year olds are over the 40 pound weight limit for the average car seat. Unless these 3 year olds are unusually tall, they are most definitely unusually fat. Haley is now 4, she no longer rides in a car seat (older kids get booster seats), she is about 30 pounds and is exceptionally tall for her age. She does not fall into fat kid in a little car seat syndrome. So now, to combat Fat Kid Syndrome, car seat manufacturers are making larger sized car seats, and calling them “Husky” models. I find this incredibly helpful, because not only is your toddler fat, now they have a self-esteem problem because their first memory is of their husky sized car seat. I’m really surprised fat baby parents aren’t in an outrage over this husky issue, I mean..in the 1970’s it was one thing to have Wrangler jeans that came in husky sizes, but this is 2006. Liberals have taken over, and SURELY there is a politically correct way to say fat kids and I’m positive it isn’t “husky”. I mean, if there’s a more p.c. way to refer to a dumpster…..

Here’s a surprise: People don’t find themselves to be annoying. That’s funny, because I find other people to be annoying…

In a recent poll among cell phone users only 8% cared enough about their own personal integrity to admit that their cell phone usage is annoying to others. Some random old lady (NOT Judy Dench) complains that it’s always college kids talking about personal stuff that gets on her nerves because she doesn’t care to hear it. My response: then stop eavesdropping grandma! Turn down the Belltone and move on! Seriously, they aren’t talking to you so don’t worry about what they’re yakking about. My favorite person surveyed was from Colorado. She’s like “I have to have a cell phone. I have kids and I need the freedom to be the places I need to be.” Where does she need to be that she can’t take her kids? I think what she’s really saying is “I have kids and I want to leave them somewhere and know that someone can call me when I’m at the bar and I can pretend to be a more responsible parent..not that I really care.” She also goes on to grumble something about having a cell phone means people can reach her anytime. No it doesn’t, because cell phones have power buttons. If you don’t want to be bothered, turn it off. Here’s another thought: just don’t answer. My dad raised me with this mindset: just because the doorbell or phone rings doesn’t mean you have to answer it, it just means someone wants to waste your time.”

More surprises:

• 28% admit they don’t drive as safely as they should because they are on their cell phones. My response: the other 72% are LYING! I dodge all you stupid kids, soccer moms & corporate yuppies and the “don’t drive safe” is an understatement. You’re a death waiting to happen, especially that one guy who used to follow me down 71 every morning. No lie, he’d be on his cell phone AND reading the newspaper. God and I got very close that semester..
• 36% are in SHOCK at the size of their monthly service bills. How is this even possible? Can’t you get like 10 million minutes for $49.95 a month or something now? I don’t even scratch the surface of using my minutes up, and these people are in shock because their bills are so high? I’m in some shock of my own..over the idiocy. Maybe I would be in shock too, if I hadn’t been raised not to answer the phone…..