Friday, March 17, 2006

Turn Signal? What's That?!

Aaron blogged about this and I’m going to sound off as well. 57% of American drivers don’t use their turn signals when changing lanes, and I LOVE the excuses they use:

42% claim they don’t have time. Don’t have time?! What the funk is going on that you don’t have time to bump a switch? This is not a task that requires time. It’s not as if you have to actually stop the car to use the signal. I’m calling BULL on this excuse.

23% are too lazy. Congratulations! At least you’re honest, but you are also the laziest people in America. Not only is this a task that doesn’t require any time, it also doesn’t require any effort. Your hand is RIGHT NEXT TO IT!!!! Come on, humor me..just bump it with your hand, even if it’s on accident. It would actually require more effort for me to punch you all in the face than it would for you to use the signal.

17% are claiming they forget to turn it off…WTF?! You don’t have to actually push it down all the way, just a little bit. Then it doesn’t stay on. You people are idiots. You deserve to be punched more than the last group of lazies.

12% just change lanes to frequently to bother with the hassle of the signal. This is the same 12% that weaves in and out of traffic at 95 m.p.h. and I yell that I hope to see them a few miles ahead planted into the middle divider on the highway. Seriously, change lanes too frequently?! Unbelievable! These are the people who are in a big hurry to get nowhere..except dead.

11% don’t find it important. Yeah, it’s not that important until you change lanes into that F-150 with your Ford Focus because neither of you find the turn signal an important part of lane changing. Was getting into the middle lane quicker really worth your life? Because p.s. F-150 trumps Focus…think about it

8% blame others, because you see..other’s aren’t using it either. I can only hope all the other’s drive off a bridge and that this 8% follows their lead. These human lemmings are the same people that have no personalities because they've spent their entire lives following other people around..so lame

7% say it adds excitement. HUH? Excitement? How lame is your life that living on the edge = not using the turn signal? How is driving anymore exciting by not using the turn signal? I’ll give you excitement..it looks like road rage and my middle finger.

My favorite part of this whole story is that no one use my dad’s excuse for not using the turn signal. Considering Polio Man taught me how to drive, it’s amazing that I use my turn signals (at least 90% of the time). Dad’s excuse “when you use the signal, the guy behind you or in front of you sees that you are changing lane and just to be a jerk cuts you off.” I’ve called bull on this excuse as well, and I’m glad to see that my dad is the only person who thinks this way. Ahh, embrace the Wayne-isms (or conspiracy theories, however you refer to them).

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