And the winner is....

Here’s a real blog…enjoy it. Everyone calm down, Kanye West is NOT freaking out about not winning all 8 grammys he was nominated for, because he has justified his losing. He justified losing Album of the Year citing “vote splitting”. He seems to think that he had to split votes with Mariah Carey among the “urban music fans” in the recording academy. Well Kanye, allow me to clue you in: you didn’t win because the academy just doesn’t like you. They aren’t fans of Gold digger or that song from Jarhead, and quite frankly they just want you to go to New Orleans and wait for the next Hurricane. So get down..with yo’ bad self Kanye…underwater. However, I do admire his honesty with the statement “I’m more famous now, and that means more money”. I appreciate that he admits he doesn’t make music for his fans, but merely for the money.

A Kanye quote about his Grammy Performance: “I just want to see the black colleges right now. I just want to go onto MySpace right now and see what people are saying." Um, the only people who watched you were like 14…so you go ahead and myspace there R. Kelly.

Then, again with this Kanye, he says “I should be in the Bible”. Jigga what? He believes he would be a “griot” in a modern Bible. Now, I went to Landmark and this stymied my cultural development, but thanks to femalefirst.co.uk, I know that a griot is an African storyteller. Well, Kanye..you DO tell some good stories, like “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” and “I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digga, but she ain’t messin’ wit no broke nigga (or broke de broke…which is like “humpty hump” which makes you a total rip off)” however, YOU ARE NOT AFRICAN. Therefore, you do NOT qualify to be a griot, you only qualify to be a douche bag.

Excessive Kanye stupid quotes: "I bring up historical subjects in a way that makes kids want to learn about them. I'm an inspirational speaker. “ The only thing kids learn from you is how to be stupid.

"I changed the sound of music more than one time... For all those reasons, I'd be a part of the Bible. I'm definitely in the history books already." You have NOT changed the sound of music, the hills are not alive with Von Trapp children singing Jesus Walks With Me. U2 HAS changed the sound of music, which is why you lost album of the year to them, so stick that in your crack pipe and smoke it, fag.

Hmm, someone murdered one of the creators of “Curious George”?? This Curious George genius lived in a trailer? What is THAT all about? Shouldn’t he be getting royalty checks still? I don’t get it. Who kills an old man and buries him in garbage bags on the sidewalk. This is all very strange, and if you kill someone and bury them…I think you’re supposed to actually put them underground, not under garbage. Just a thought.

I’m just gonna say it. Gwyneth Paltrow should be punched in the face, repeatedly. She’s only in the news for saying really idiotic things. She is a female Kanye West, only a total airhead. Now she’s like “I don’t want my daughter to say basil and pasta like Brits, because I hate that.” Here’s a thought Gwennie, if you don’t want your child to speak like a Brit, don’t raise her as one. Oh yeah, but Brits are smarter than Americans. Since when does more pretentious = smarter? Let’s recap some recent Gwen headlines shall we?

- Gwyneth Paltrow convinced her life would make a sitcom

- Gwyneth Paltrow to contact spirit dad

- Gwyneth Paltrow calls in exorcist.

- Gwyneth Paltrow too ugly

- Gwyneth Paltrow “I need money”

- Gwyneth Paltrow needs more time (for herself)

I have a headline: Gwyneth Paltrow needs a punch in the face, and a new personality.