ANNNND I'm BACK! (Love it!)

I like when fugitives from other states come to hang out in our ghettos. What a better place for a fugitive to hang out than a crime-ridden, drug infested neighborhood? A man wanted for trying to kill a police officer in Arkansas was found during a drug investigation in the West End. WHAT?! People sell marijuana on Linn Street? I would've never thought.....
Now, I've heard that schools in the south were pretty bad, at least that's what I learned in that Written Word class at the mount (Dr. Luecke, total hippie..). Apparently they teach people to be stupid. When you are wanted for attempted capitol murder it's not a wise decision to start buying or selling drugs in the middle of a bad area where the city mayor is putting up an AWESOME front to lower crime rates. Genius Marcus Hicks, GENIUS! And by genius I mean douche bag, and the week is still young....

Summer is beginning like normal, a man may or may not be in the river. Apparently his wife reported him missing Sunday. The man lives on a house boat and the police are searching the river now. However, no one is actually sure if he's in the river. I find it interesting that the best hypothesis of his whereabouts currently is "the river...search the river."

In an interesting turn of events, Scott Peterson and one of the jurors who sentenced him to death row have become friendly pen pals. How does THAT happen? Here's what I think:
Dear Scott,
Sorry you have to die. I know it's 1/12 my fault.
Love, Random Juror.
Apparently their friendship started after this juror had a nervous breakdown over the trial and her therapist suggested she write a letter to Scott.
"Hmm, you have nightmares? this trial ruined your life? How about writing him a letter, and telling him that he ruined your life."
Well, now this juror describes Scott as a charming man. Well, I can think of another woman who found him charming, and he was so flattered that he chopped her pregnant body up and threw it in the bay. I smell a prison romance...and a bad true crime novel in the making.

Speaking of Californians being retarded, researchers in our favorite golden state claim to have a duck x-ray with what looks like an alien creature in the duck's stomach. Jigga What? Should someone be caned in this situation? Apparently this bird came in with a broken wing, and when they x-rayed the duck supposedly a very clear image of "a face, or a head, or an extraterrestrial.." Let me get this straight, it's a very clear image but you can't tell for sure if it's a bird, or a plane, or ET. "Um, we may have an alien here, we're not sure...just a very clear image". However, the world may never know, because the duck has died. I desperately want to believe an alien came tearing through it's stomach.....and did a little dance.