Hey Covington, Put Your Shirt On!

A former jailor gets only 7 years in prison for raping children??? He cops a plea and gets only 7 years. You see, this is what’s wrong with the justice system, if he had accidentally killed someone in a car wreck (not even a drunken wreck) he’d get a longer prison sentence.

Then, talk about adding insult to injury. An Oxford woman was robbed at gunpoint and then raped. THEN she calls the good ole’ OPD, who show up with a police dog who then in turn bites the victim. That tops the list of worst mornings ever.

Clean out your closets kids! This is a warning. A 62 year old woman in Washington has died after a pile of clutter fell on her head and she suffocated. Apparently there were stacks of boxes and clothes over 6 feet tall all through her house, and her husband initially called police because he didn’t know where his wife was, lo and behold she was in the house the whole time..buried alive. Pack rattery will get you no where.

Oh sweet mouse revenge. It was reported that a man caught a mouse outside his home, and then threw the mouse into a pile of burning leave in his back yard. Hell hath no fury like a mouse scorned, and the flaming mouse reportedly ran back into the home igniting a blaze that destroyed the home and everything in it. However, this story of the ignited mouse has been reported to be untrue. The 81 year old man who lost everything says this story makes him smile. Wait a second guy, you just lost everything and you have no insurance, yet you are smiling that people thought a raging pissed mouse destroyed your home? I think this counts as an early sign of dementia, because it’s not normal to smile in this situation

Here’s to hoping this headline is also untrue: Turkish girl infected with bird flu after kissing infected chickens. WHAT?! Who kisses chickens? Her family says she loved the chickens and they told her not to kiss them. At 8 years old do you need to be told not to kiss the chickens? I mean, a toddler I would expect this from, but an 8 year old? And who thinks kissing chickens is a good idea? That’s so nasty.

So, the woman who was found dead in a home last week has been dead for 2 ½ years. She told her family & caregiver that she would come back to life, so the care giver put her in the bedroom, with an air conditioner blowing on her and the tv on. That’s disgusting. The caregiver was just trying to do right by the woman, but really. No one comes back to life after they die, and this is all just creepy to me that the body was just sitting in a rocking chair watching tv. This sounds like something from a movie..oh wait, because it is….PSYCHO!

Finally, a former public defender has greed to testify about what she knows concerning a former client’s involvement with the disappearance of a girl 7 years ago. You see, this client is a former client because she’s dead. The lawyer is claming “privilege” Yeah, privilege nothing. Your client is dead. It’s not like they’ll make her dead body sit in jail! Well, unless she said she was coming back to life, then they’ll sit her carcass in front of a tv with an air conditioner blowing on her.

Oh Landmark….my church made the news. Some moron hit one of the 10,000 trees that line the driveway and he and his passenger had to be cut from the vehicle. He’ll be cited for the accident, which I find odd. When kids had wrecks there in high school the cops never cited anyone because it was private property, and depending on where you are on the church grounds you’re either in Evendale, Glendale, or Woodlawn.

Then, just to trump my Landmark story I see the Bigg’s in Harrison was robbed. However, it was robbed at 7 a.m.?? Who’s up that early to grab a handful of cash from the register? I bet he didn’t even get $150. That’s foolishness. I only wish that Sarah had been there at that moment.

This is something only a Kentuckian would do..steal 2 packs of cigarettes and start a police chase with their Geo Metro. Can you even have a police chase when your car only has 3 cylinders? I mean really, the cops are just throwing you a bone as you race away at 45 mph. However, the idiot tried to flee to Ohio. Doesn’t he know cops here kill for less than that? Moron crashed his car into the Suspension Bridge, totaling the Geo and giving his passenger a spine injury. Congratulations! You’ve just won the douche bag of the week award and put your friend in critical condition..for 2 packs of cigarettes.

Oh, and I called it. I said 2 days ago that Carson Palmer would have surgery on Wednesday. Because Wednesday is the universal day for orthopedic surgeries. I wish I had placed bets…