Things That Make Me Want to Stab Myself: A Traveling Blog

So Aaron and I just got back from another trip to Texas and I was reminded once again why I should become a hermit. When boarding the plane, typically they board by zones, right? Well, if they are boarding zones 1 and 2 and you are in any other zone, SIT THE HECK DOWN! There’s no reason in the world for all of zone 4 to be roaming around the general vicinity of the line, like a bunch of confused primates, as if they are even close to boarding. When it’s my turn to board, I can’t even begin to FIND the line through this group of ignorant baboons.

What irritates me even more about these non-boarding passengers is that not only do they wander about so you can’t find the actual line; they get up near the entrance and then just stop. It’s like those people who walk into the entrance of a building and just stop right in the middle of your way. THEN, in an annoying turn of ironic events, they get mad at you when you run into them because they are completely stupid. Look granny, if you’d have stayed in your seat until zone 5 was called, none of this would’ve ever happened so TAKE A SEAT! Your seat is only 4 and a half feet away from the plane, I promise, they won’t leave you behind (much to my dismay).

Then after we all hurry up to wait, we have to stand in line while waiting for those boobs who are desperately trying to shove their gigantic Louis Vitton “carry on” bags in the overhead compartment. Anyone within a stones throw can see that these bags don’t have an ice cubes chance of fitting in that compartment. However, every time I get on a plane there’s a plethora of sorority girls (donned in the official college hoodie and UGGS, as if to appear more like the rest of us common folk), business men (who seriously have traveled enough to KNOW that bag isn’t going to fit), and old people (who previously stood in my way and are really starting to irk me) trying to shove half of their household belongings into the overhead bins. Then, the person behind me will sigh loudly, not only blowing one of my ear drums, but moistening my neck with their nasty, hot, coffee breath. CHECK YOUR BAG! Seriously, it takes all of 5 minutes to get your bag, and you’re not going anywhere in those 5 minutes anyways because you’ll probably be spending it in the bathroom. Honestly, traveling is enough to make me want to kick old people or punch children.