Untitled: Because There's Just So Many Ways To Go...

I initially thought of so many titles for this blog, such as: “Why Weren’t You Getting Ready For School?”, “Should You Really Shoot Someone Over a 12 Year Old Car?”, “Where Were Your Parents?!”, or “Sometimes People Deserve To Have Their Stuff Stolen”. However, some people may have found those titles insensitive so I chose the rather ambiguous title (or non-title).

So, here’s the deal, a man with a conceal and carry permit shoots a 14 year old boy for stealing his 1994 Ford Taurus. However, I feel that this genius kind of deserved to have his car stolen. HORROR! You say? No one deserves to have their property stolen! While you might think this is true, you’re wrong. Let me tell you why – if you are so dumb that you go start your car and leave it running, unlocked in the driveway..in Kennedy Heights of all places, you deserve to have your car stolen. Last time I checked, Kennedy Heights was NOT the new Hamilton Township. I mean, a neighbor on this street says “I heard the gunshots and the car wreck, but I didn’t think they were related”. Notice this man does not say “When I was dialing 9-1-1 to report gunshots I didn’t realize the two noises were related.” If you have a nonchalant attitude towards neighborhood gun fire, it should be a clue that you need to move.

Allow me to expand a little on a rule penned by my brother, stolen by me. If it contains the word “heights” or “hill(s)” in it, it’s probably not a place you want to hang out, much less live. For example, Arlington Heights, Kennedy Heights, Bond Hill, Price Hill..surely you’re getting the point here. If not, you should probably consider a Kevlar vest, because I feel there’s at least an 84.6% chance you’re frequenting these areas and that would really be ill-advised. Oh, and for those of you saying, “College Hill isn’t that bad!”, that’s because it’s situated next to North College Hill, so comparatively speaking, no it’s not that bad. However, it’s not that good either!

Back to my original story, although I have approximately 54 unanswered questions I’ll spare you the comprehensive list. Why wasn’t this kid at home, getting ready for school? He supposedly lived in Fairmount but was in Kennedy Heights? These places aren’t even close. He’s being referred to as “semi-homeless” because his mom had 7 other kids and there was no room in the inn for him. This still doesn’t explain why he’s across town. How does a 14 year old end up with a record that includes breaking and entering and would have included grand theft auto? Where does one get this much free time?

I think there’s an extreme lack of perspective here. A 61 year old man claims his life was threatened by someone stealing his car and driving AWAY from him. Explain this to me, please. While you’re at it, explain to me why you’re shooting someone over a 12 year old car. Don’t cry at me that “it’s all I can afford.” Because that’s what you have insurance for, in case your stuff gets stolen. If he didn't have proper insurance to cover his stolen vehicle, his tough luck. Insurance is asset protection, if you don't protect your assets then maybe you don't deserve to have them.This lack of logic may very well fail this old man in the end.

Leading me to my next point, this man is getting to be elderly. I don’t have a problem with legal guns and proper permits, but I think there should be some sort of age limit/rationale test included. It’s a known fact that the most dangerous people behind the wheel are teenagers (which apparently includes 14 year olds..Brian Lowry) and the elderly. What makes us think that these people would be anymore safe with a gun?! The elderly have a slower reaction time and I would guess are more prone to feel threatened because they feel vulnerable in the presence of us whipper-snappers. Qualifying for Medicare does not qualify you to kill ‘em all and let God sort them out.

In the end, you can’t shoot a kid for stealing your property when there’s a large possibility it’s your own fault.