Homework and Gold Diggers

How can you tell that your town is ridiculous? Because it takes literally nothing more than the threat of sunshine, a jacket and a handful of school work to induce panic and shut down the highway.

Ronald Reagan Highway was closed today in both directions because there was a “suspicious package” on the highway. By suspicious package they meant a red backpack, which means the bomb squad had to come and disarm the coat and school work that were found inside the bag. Yes, Cincinnati shut down the highway for 2 hours for a handful of math homework. That would've been an AWESOME excuse in high school, "I'm sorry Mrs. Chamberlin, but the bomb squad blew up my algebra homework..."

Let me clear my throat, ahem: A Marcus Fiesel rant.

After Marcus was tragically killed his mother filed a multi-million dollar lawsuit against Butler County and other parties involved, claiming it was not about the money. Bull. You don’t sue for $5 million when it’s not about the money. Second, don’t allege that you were deprived the love and affection of your child when he was reportedly found wandering the streets while in your custody. Meanwhile, it’s now being reported that she wanted to give up custody. I say she gave up custody when her child was falling out of windows and wandering the streets at 3 years old. I think maybe she should step up and say, “My child wouldn’t be dead today if I was a real parent.” So, Donna Trevino, I roll my eyes in your general direction. He was deprived, not you, so go back to the trailer and listen for the freight train. Good luck finding the jury that will award you more than a stale dinner mint and a handful of airline peanuts..and no, not the honey roasted ones either!

Why I Am The Tip Nazi

It was all over the news last week that waiters and waitresses not only expect a tip, but they want a 20% automatic gratuity added to checks. Jigga huh? Let's discuss this further shall we?

I am notorious for not tipping well. My bestest friend has thus dubbed me "tip nazi". I believe the conversation at dinner went something like this:
Me: "So, what should I give her, like a penny?"
Kristen: "You are the tip nazi!"
However, I don't tip well because on average I don't even get average service. My meal gets dropped, comes out wrong, comes out cold, comes out and I don't even know what it is because I didn't order vomit in a bowl, I ordered a chicken wrap. These items don't even come on the same type of dish!

As a waitress, yes you only make a couple of bucks and a free mint on the hour. However, an overview of your job: write down my order and then bring it out. In some cases, you just have to write it down because a runner brings it out. This isn't rocket science, it's food service. Key word being SERVICE. I'm paying for a service and if that service is not provided I don't feel the need to pay extra for it. I might not outright stiff a waitress (although, I wouldn't put it passed me), but I'm not giving a $10 tip if my food is cold. You can't blame the cook if my food is cold, because that means the waitress didn't bring it out.

Cut them some slack? It's a stressful job? Yeah, I don't doubt that, which is why I'm not a waitress. I don't have the patience for that. However, they signed up for that job, not me. Don't punish ME because you hate your job. It's your job to serve people, so stop complaining. You want a better tip, give better service! I don't ask for much, keep my drink refilled, bring the correct food, and hold the tomatoes.